This will

...catch you up to where we are at.

In July, shortly after we got back together, we took a vacation to Kitty Hawk, NC with Levi's extended family. On the drive to Kitty Hawk, I had the most terrible tooth ache of my life. Every mile we would drive seemed to last hours, this is no exaggeration. I had never been in so much pain in my life. Ever. I had borrowed an antibiotic, Keflex, to take for my tooth from a friend before leaving KS, so, I took one every four hours along with hefty doses of ibuprofen, tylenol and Darvocet, a narcotic, that I had also borrowed for the pain in my tooth before leaving KS. If anyone knows me, they know that I don't take medicine. I believe that the human body is well equipped to heal itself and that people often become dependent on over-the-counter drugs. In what I honestly believe was excruciating pain, we slowly made our way to the beach. That night, we stayed in Nashville, TN in a disgusting hotel room. I am easy to please, for the most part, but this place was filthy. Let's just say, the price was right!! Everyone was so excited to sleep in a bed as we had been napping off and on as we traveled. That night was THE. LONGEST. NIGHT. OF. MY. LIFE. I did. not. sleep. at. all. Everyone passed out quickly, including Levi, who was exhausted and out like a light. Throughout the night, when he would wake up, he would ask me if I was awake as to check on me and see if I was feeling any relief. I would simply say, "still awake." It seemed like my own personal little hell. I feel like such a complainer, but there is really no way to explain how much pain I was in. I did not know that pain like that could exist in one's mouth. I could not chew, I could hardly swallow and all of the pain meds that I had taken all at once, which, regrettably, did happen a handful of times, did not even touch the pain. It had gotten to the point where I thought, forget it, I just need to take a bus and go home. I constantly groaned and cried, there was no sleep. The next morning as we started back onto our trip, I noticed that my pain meds were starting to affect my pain level and by the time that we had made it to the coast, I was in a VERY controllable amount of pain. It was a constant twinge, by this point, but NOTHING like what I had lived through on the drive. We had made it to paradise. We all shared the week in a wonderful beach house right along the coast. With the ocean as our front yard, we could hear the waves crashing along the shore as we trailed off to sleep. The first morning that we were there, Levi and I woke up early and hurried off to the beach together, a "first" for us as a couple and we enjoyed the early beach which was even a little chilly to us. We sat side by side right at the tide and looked out together across a breathtaking view of sky and water. We felt like we were little kids who had woken up to see that Santa had come. We sat there together for hours and held eachother, noticing little shells, letting our legs be buried in the sand that would wash over us, and getting misted with salt water. It was my perfect time with my best friend. We talked about the future and dreamt that when we had kids, we would vacation to the ocean. It was perfect. Family members, one by one, made their way to meet us on the beach and we got to see all of them react to their new environment. It honestly felt like paradise. Over the next couple of days, we had visited an aquarium, the Elizabethan Gardens and many local spots as we were trying to soak up the whole experience. My tooth pain now had all but gone away. We were enjoying a true, wonderful vacation. We took too many pictures to count. About half-way through the week, I started getting really groggy. I felt like I was at half-energy, which I attributed to being at the beach for three days. ***TMI ALERT*** The next morning, I realized that I was about two weeks late for my period, but I thought nothing of it since I was having what I recognized as PMS symptoms, breast tenderness, light cramping etc. Also, before leaving for vacation, I had taken a pregnancy test and had a negative result. As the week continued, I quickly noticed that the smell of certain foods would upset my stomach. Namely, Duck Donuts, which my mother-in-law, Laura, fell in love with and brought home with us, any kind of greasy food, ESPECIALLY McDonald's--I could not handle being around them. I thought that maybe I had a little bug and chose to stay home from the lighthouse and Virginia Dare outings. As the week ended and we made our way back home, I felt SICK. I constantly begged myself not to throw up as we were in my in-laws' vehicle and it's not very fun to drive somebody around while they puke. My strength was tested, though, every time my unknowing mother-in-law would open up her take-home box of Duck Donuts and offer us each one. The smell would absolutely fill the car and I swore that I would never eat another donut ever, EVER again. As we got back home, I was sunburnt, nasty-looking and peeling all over my face, shoulders and back. We had all had a wonderful time and were not really ready to come home. That night, my parents had also just gotten back from a trip home to NY, so we went to visit them and catch up. I told them that I was feeling AWFUL and my mother, not wanting to get her hopes up that she may be having a grandchild, told me that I was probably just having bad PMS and that I should go home and get some sleep. My little sister, on the other hand, was absolutely convinced that we were pregnant. I decided that I didn't want to get my hopes up either, so instead of going home and taking a test, I went home and went to bed.
     The next morning, Levi and I took our time getting out of bed. Mom was coming over to meet up for grocery shopping in a couple hours and we just wanted some time to re-adjust to our home. I still had not started. Levi insisted that I take a pregnancy test that I was avoiding. I did not want a negative test to ruin my day. Before our marital problems had surfaced those past few months, we had been trying to get pregnant for about a year, so taking pregnancy tests, for me, had never been what I wanted it to be. All it ever was was a let-down. Still, he insisted that I take one, so I reluctantly collected my "sample", so to speak, and sat the test in. As I removed it, I didn't even look at the stick. I knew what it would say, and I did not want to see it. In fact, using the "Clearblue" brand, I covered up the spot that digitally said "not" next to the word "pregnant" with my thumb. As the only thing showing was "Pregnant", I decided to kick it Charlie Bucket style and slowly peel my thumb back. I automatically let my heart sink, as was my pee-test ritual, expecting to see my old friend, "Not Pregnant". It wasn't there. Out loud I said, "...Where's not? WHERE'S NOT?!!! LEVI!!! LEVI!!!" He knew why I was yelling. He rushed in with a grin on his face and I showed it to him. I said, "What if it's wrong!!!" (More like shrieked). I was shaking all over, wondering "IS IT TRUE?! IS IT REAL?!" I finally got the wrapper ripped off of the next test that I took out of the box. This was hard for me because I was SHAKING with excitement. As I put the second test in the cup, I couldn't even concentrate enough to count the 20 seconds that I was supposed to. After about 10, I pulled it out, not realizing that it had not been in there NEAR long enough. Already making excuses for if it read negative, I told Levi, "It probably won't be positive because I took it out too..." and as I was about to finish my sentence, quickly popped up, "Pregnant". I screamed. It explained everything that I was too doubtful to realize. As my mom was coming in a few hours to go grocery shopping, I reeled in my excitement and called her on the phone. Trying to sound like I had just waken up, I said, "Hey. I missed you while you were on vacation, you should come early and look at our vacation photos. Just so we can catch up,  you know?" She agreed that that sounded like a good idea and told me that she would be there in an hour. AN HOUR! A WHOLE HOUR TO WAIT TO TELL HER! As she and my little sister, Myla, finally arrived, we tried to contain our joy and I acted like I was tired on the couch. She walked in and I said, "Hey, mom, there is some weird green stuff growing in the bottom of the plant that you gave me. Do you know what it is?" I had stashed the two positive testers face-up in the plant for her to find there. She said, "Let me take a look!" As she made her way over to the pot, she started closely examining the plant. "Steph, honey, these are leaves that have fallen from your plant. They aren't growing from the bottom." My first instinct was to say, "NO! LOOK CLOSER!" I wondered how she could not see them. I said, "Are you sure? The one I pulled out had roots.." She continued looking at the plant. She was getting confused, and looked at me like I was an idiot. "Steph. Honey. These are just leaves that have fallen from your plant." "Mom..." I said, "...are you kidding me?" Again, she said, "Steph, honey, these are leaves! Look!" Finally, I said, "Mom, look closer. Look really hard." And then she saw them. "Oh," she said. "Oh!" she said again. And then "OHHHHHH!!!!" she yelled as she started to cry. She was SO excited.
      Telling Levi's parents was a little easier. We had gone to Burlington Coat Factory and bought a bib that says, "Grandma Spoils Me Silly" and a book about grandpa's. We wrapped them up and took them to Mark and Laura's house. We sat them down and told them that we wanted to thank them for everything they had done for us on vacation with a little gift. They, too, had been ready and asking for grandchildren. We had them close their eyes, and we put each of their gifts in their hands. We had them open their eyes and unwrap their gifts. Laura was the first to get hers open, "Oh my gosh!!!!" she said. She stamped her feet back and forth on the floor in front of her and twirled her arms in the air. Mark had opened his, but he was just sitting there, looking at it, trying to be polite. "Hm..." he said. Laura asked him if he "got" it. "OHHHH!!" he said. There was much laughing, hugging and love.
     I lost 30+ pounds over the next months. I could hold NOTHING down. I kept thinking, "Why would ANYONE ever choose to have children again after feeling this sick all the time?!" At our 16 week appointment, the doctor noticed that my uterus was measuring at 20+ weeks of gestation, but I knew in my heart when it had happened. I knew that I was only 16 weeks pregnant. She looked for a heartbeat on the left side of my uterus, found one and then lost it. She tried on the other side of my uterus to find it again and there it was! She said, "Well, it looks like you are a lot farther along than you thought you were, unless, of course, there is more than one in there. We need to get you in to a sonogram as soon as possible." WOW. Big words for first-time-parents. Wondering if we were having twins, we were anxious to get to our sonogram that would not be until a whole entire week later. As our minds wandered, we looked up symptoms for multiple pregnancies and there it was: "Extreme sickness and vomiting." On the day of our sonogram, I brought into the room with me, Levi, Laura and my mother to see our little baby for the first time! As they started the ultrasound, the tech explained that the reason that I was there was to see how far along I was. She put the piece on my belly and there it was. Our baby. It seemed perfect. Everyone cooed over it and Levi was in love. As she continued to move the piece across my stomach, the tech said, "...and THERE is the other one!" We were all excited! We had expected that this might happen because of what the doctor had said the week prior. As the ultrasound tech was taking measurements of the babies, she said, "And it looks like you are at 17 weeks gestation. I was right! She kept measuring and reading their stats to us and then she said, "Oh my God, guys, I think there is another one!" We were all in shock! We said, "No way!" She said, "Yes, there is a baby C". We were in SHOCK. I, for one, was shaking from head to toe, felt like I was going to pass out and then felt like I was going to cry, and THEN felt like I was going to puke. Everyone was ecstatic. I was terrified. She took pictures of all of them, told me they were all very healthy and then brought Dr. Brey in to talk to me. She explained all of the risks associated with my now, "High Risk" pregnancy and told me what to expect. She asked me if we had been taking any fertility meds, and, of course, we weren't. She warned me that anything a regular pregnant woman would feel, I would feel x3. Any sickness, any fatigue, any dizziness, ANYTHING, x3. It was overwhelming to say the very least. Laura and my mom were hugging and crying and excited, Levi was doing his happy dance and I was just stopped in my tracks, dumbfounded. I don't remember much of what the doctor said after that. The ultrasound tech told me that she had been at the Lincoln Center for 10 years and had never seen triplets. As we made our way out to the lobby, all of the nurses at the Lincoln Center had heard and were waiting right outside our door to congratulate us. They admitted that they had been listening in to our conversation through the door and could not wait! I was told that I would now be being "watched like a hawk" by a multiples' specialist that I was refered to, "Dr. Evans" and that I would be having weekly visits with Dr. Brey as well. Our lives have been a swirl since then.
     Our first appointment with Dr. Evans revealed that all of our babies were very healthy, perfect, in fact, and that we were having fraternal triplets, one boy and two girls. Our boy will be named, Jude Louis Ludwick, and our girls will be named Eisley Annette Ludwick and Moorley Iris Ludwick. We do not intend to choose which is which while they are in my tummy. We want to meet them first and find out which one they really are. We were expecting a baby on/around March 25, 2013, now we are expecting three little preemies in January. We would like to get to 32 weeks gestation, but 28 weeks is our first goal. On Monday, I will be 20 weeks along and that does not leave us much time to plan! : )
We are adjusting well to the thought of having triplets, and people we don't even know approach us and ask me if I am "...the gal who's gonna have triplets?"
     They were there the whole time. They were there with me through all of the pain pills on our vacation, which, miraculously, they suffered NO defects from. They were there with us on the beach as we dreamt of bringing them with us some day. They were there when I was feeling down about our difficulty with getting pregnant. They were there and are there and will be here soon. They are our little angels and our love grows for them every day. Our lives will NEVER be the same, but God has a huge plan for our lives. He is giving us a perfect real-live experience that we get to practice trusting His plan for, not feeling like we have any control over the situation. He has made a way for us when it seemed like there was no way and He is giving to us through good stewards of His love, our friends. They have already given so much to us, supplies, diapers, support, offers, but we know that it is really God providing through them for us. Isn't it amazing how God is love? What a promise. Any time that somebody acts kindly toward me from now on, I will choose to feel it as God's love. The people in our lives are our constant reminders of God's love and providence. He will use willing hands and willing hearts. We are so blessed by everyone's contributions and prayer--our children are even a little more developed than they need to be at this stage. I wish that I could thank everyone praying for us, but the thing is, I don't even know them all. So many of our friends and family have put us on prayer lists that we have thousands of people praying for us that we will never meet here. This is the church. This is the body of Christ. This is Love. How powerful to be at the centerpiece of the work of our Creator and Father. We are overwhelmed by His perfect love for us--undeserving of His goodness and grace.

           OUR FEAR IS OVERCOME. OUR GOD IS LOVE.